I wanted to share this post again from 2012, a couple of months before I had my first child, because I think it’s funny. I’m guilty of every one single one of the things I vowed never to do when I had kids! I understand now why those moms talk about their kids nonstop – because having a child is amazing! It’s nothing short of a miracle. I’m still not a kid person but I sure do love my own! Even though I’m guilty of all of it I do still kinda agree with everything I wrote. It’s just now I’m not so hostile. Us moms got a lot on our plates!

February 22, 2012

I have to say I really love being pregnant. I wasn’t sure I would since lots of people don’t. I had some major nausea in the first trimester but after about week 14 I’ve felt good. I exercise – prenatal Pilates and Yoga, I take power walks- I’ve even filmed a whole bunch of Pregnancy Pilates videos for Pilatesology.com. My work is physical and I’ve been keeping up. I haven’t gained that much weight – just over 20 lbs at 31 weeks.

Mainly what I like is how nice everyone is to me and I can eat whatever I want (aside from that week before my gestational diabetes test where I was scared into eating a perfectly balanced, low sugar diet). I didn’t have the diabetes so back to the brownies I went! My husband is much sweeter to me, as are my clients and my coworkers. Even strangers smile at me and sometimes try to touch me – not so sure about that.

The thing that scares me though is I’m not that into kids or talking about kids.

I know you’re not supposed to say that and of course I love my nieces and nephews and some friends’ kids, but let’s face it, I’d much rather hang out with your dog or cat. I know I will adore my own baby but I’m terrified I’ll turn into one of those moms that drives me insane. I can see it happening already! I do love to talk about pregnancy, what I’m feeling and going through. I love to talk about baby gear and my birth plan. A year ago I would’ve been super annoying to myself.

So, here’s my list of things I want to continue to do (or not do) when I have a kid.

1) Continue to read real books, meaning not just baby related books. I can’t stand it when moms unapologetically declare “Who has time to read? Must be nice.” C’mon.

2) Continue to keep up on current events my favorite way, by listening to NPR and KPCC. Please, Molly, please don’t just listen to the Wiggles in the car! I beg of you!

3. Try not to get to a place where you think it’s acceptable to talk about crusty or leaky nipples, diaper rash, colic, big boy beds or pre-school applications at dinner or a party – Especially if people present don’t have kids! Do you just lose your mind when you have a kid and think people are interested? They’re not – trust me. Save it for your baby group or close friends who also have kids.

4. Continue to go out with your husband and friends to things that interest you – plays, dance, art openings, movies, good restaurants. Get a freaking babysitter, dress up and go out with adults.

5) Please refrain from bringing your baby everywhere. I know you think your kid is super special and really cute but other people, again, people who don’t have kids, do not. Examples: Nice restaurants (actually most restaurants), bars, Pilates studios, nail salons..

I’m sure I’ll think of other things that annoy me but that’s all for now. Molly, please try to abide by these rules and don’t become a super annoying mother who thinks their kid is the end all, be all. People will listen politely but they can’t wait until you stop talking. Thank you.

photo by Alan Renshaw. I had baby Shepard the day after this picture was taken. Michael Jackson’s life has never been the same.



Me surrounded by children. I guess they’re okay.